As I’ve stated before many times, doing laundry in the city is an adventure…especially on a Sunday afternoon in Brooklyn. Generally, I don’t have a problem doing laundry because I love the feeling of having clean clothes and I know this is something many people who live in private homes take for granted. It’s been awhile since I’ve washed my own clothes. I’ve been using drop off service because it’s “my little luxury” and the Korean lady who I send my clothes too is so nice. I think she appreciates me sorting my clothes and I appreciate how neatly my clothes are folded. However, since I moved she’s no longer right around the corner and because my rent has increase over 100% (I’m not kidding) I have to tighten up the belt buckle (so to speak).
It’s been about a month since I’ve moved, and laundry locations was an important factor in determining where I was going to live. I need some sort of convenience. This post is about my first attempt in this “new” Laundromat.
Disclaimer: I really should have know better than to go to any Laundromat Sunday afternoon in Brooklyn. I was really caught slipping.
Initial Assessment
I walked in there with two large loads and it felt like I was walking into a new high school as a transfer student. It was crazy, I felt like people were in there sizing me up. I knew they weren’t looking at me like damn “she’s a pretty lady” because I was ashy as hell. I got up, showered, and little lotion was used. I didn’t have on earrings and my lips weren't chapped but they weren't popping either. It was not about me though; It was about getting these damn clothes done so I could get on with the rest of my day. I got my two large washers and when I saw how much they were I should have known it was going to be problems.
I use Tide & Downy because I’m Single
Generally, when I’m in a new place for the first time, I’m very observant. I notice things about people that other folks might not care about. This is partly because I’m bored and I’m trying to find a way to get through the unease of the situation. It’s sometimes harder to ignore the stuff people do or say especially in a stressful situation like the Laundromat. I noticed a couple of things, 1) Single people like Tide and Downy; 2) A couple doing laundry together might just tell you everything you need to know about them as a couple in a matter of two hours and; 3) men will look at your panties. It was pretty obvious that I was not doing anyone else clothes but my own and I think that makes people deliberate your existence and “gulliness” for B.S.
Dryer Battle
So, it became apparent to me that 4 minutes left on the dryer clock was just an anomaly when the dryer is free and you have to dry your clothes on 15 minute intervals. This was something I was not prepared for. I was highly annoyed by this “free” dryer service. Could THIS be the reason why the washers were so damn expensive? There were two types of strategies I could tell was being used for grabbing dryers. There was the dryer hunter. The person who walks up and down the dryer row, asking people “This your dryer, you finished?” And those like me who stalked the dryers. I chose the latter for a couple of reasons. The reason I chose to play stalker is because 1) the dryers are free. With that being said, it’s very annoying for someone to asked you every 15 minutes if you're done. That would piss me off so I didn’t do that. It generally takes about 45 minutes per load if you have jeans, towel and/or anything heavy. There was a “man” in there who was irking the hell out of me. He was a super duper ass hole. Evidently from observation, he was with his wife. She was way bigger than him but he wasn't talking to her nicely or with any level of respect. He was barking orders at her like a little league baseball coach. "Get that one over there!" he said. "Where's the rest of the clothes" he barked. They had mad clothes too. Like bags on bags on bags. LOL
So it was crazy, you see? I thought it's best I just stalk the 4 dryers this other young couple was working with. They had bags on bags on bags of laundry too. They were talking outside, he was bitching but she wasn't having it.
I waited 45 minutes and only held down one dryer. I was being very patient although my annoyance with the situation was written all over my face. I just daydreamed since I didn't have my ipod. Two dryer freed up and it was a battle between an old Haitian lady and two 40- something year old men- one of which was the dryer hunter. This motherfucker, after pacing back and forth with a cell phone on his ear and wet clothes in his hands attacks one of the dryers. Ma-ma finessed her old lady flirt to a win a dryer. While respectful man was slightly distracted and assumed he had the other dryer, dryer hunter attacked with his kid's draws and dared homeboy to touch them as he closed the door and started the machine. I saw what happened and I didn't like that disrespectful shit. I thought, "I'll be damned if that shit was gonna happen to me".
*Fast forward* Finally, young couple is done! Yes! "...y'all finished with these dryers?" said the dryer hunter.
"Yeah, you got it man" said young dude. I had to shut that shit right on down.
"Nah, I got that."
"What you said?" he said to me
Looking him dead in his eyes, I said, "You see me standing here and I'm not waiting for no dryers but these four right here, so I'm getting them next." He knew I wasn't playing and if he would have tried me I would have caused a fucking scene. Disrespect sets me the fuck off.
So I won that battle but another clown decided on different approach by trying to G me out of my dryer. He had the passive aggressive approach.
"Excuse me, I'm using that" why was this motherfucking trying me now I thought.
" Oh since there was two I figure I can get one"
"Oh nah, I'm using them both you gonna have to wait"
"Ah come on..." as he stared at my panties
That's when I pulled the dryer hunter attack move as he was distracted.
What Have I Learned?
Nothing. I got caught "sleeping". Had I not needed to do laundry, I would NOT have picked a Sunday late morning in Flatbush Brooklyn to do what I should have been already done. This was my bad. Next time I'll do better. Man, I love clean clothes!
