What's My Name? - Karaoke Style

Sometimes I'm a harsh music critic and this is because NY radio sometimes force feeds us bad music, but this one I can not deny. They run this song don't they?
What's My Name? by Rihanna featuring Drake is "pop perfect". It embodies everything a perfect pop song should be. Its sing along type music and lyrically Rihanna's putting it on the line (no surprise there), Drake verse is good too.
Am I a Rihanna fan? I'd say no, but I'd be lying if I told you I didn't have a couple of her songs in my iTunes library. Shouts to the kids in the video for tapping into my silly side. Shouts to all the 2 and 3 year old that made me pay attention to this tune. This one is for them...

Dear Essence, What are you really trying to (sell) tell me?

I've been a fan of magazines since before I could read and I'm a subscriber of Essence magazine. I look forward to receiving the magazine in the mail because I'm always interested to find out who is on the cover. I was really happy to see Ms. Regina King on the cover this month because I perceived her as being genuine and a talented actress I grew up watching.
My friend 'K', an avid reader of all printed journalism and books had brought to my attention some months back the lack of "quality" articles in periodicals like Essence, and for that reason she doesn't buy them often. She said to me, "you ever counted how many advertisements were in there? I did it one day I was bored, and I was like, 'damn more than half the magazine is advertisement!'"

Initially, I laughed and took light of what she said, nonetheless, since the "Hawk" was in full effect this past weekend, it left me some downtime to dive into this challenge.
Currently there are 164 pages in the Feb 2011 edition, 95 pages or so of full page advertisements and/or promotion. The cover story was 10 paragraphs long. In total there was about 40 pages of reading material.

I wasn't surprised by these findings. I knew my homie wasn't talking smack. My next challenge was to review what was being advertised. For the most part they were attempting to sell hair products and make-up. I also saw advertisements for cigarettes and liquor. There were a few that were promoting AIDS awareness and health care. Two of the advertisements were promoting prescription drugs: one for kid vaccination and the other was for anti-depression. My objective with breaking down this edition of Essence was not to comment on the articles themselves but instead to shed light on the propaganda that comes along with these articles on "black culture for today's women."

After my analysis I was left feeling two ways: 1) print media is dying and writers (especially minority writers) will have to broaden their medium to remain successful and 2) we're being sold bullshit and hoodwinked into believing this imagery is all positive. Most if not all the companies advertising in this edition is not black owned.

For the record, I'm not getting at Essences magazine. I appreciate them for being in their unique position because I have enjoyed many of their articles (especially those that empower women and positive relationships). I just wish I could get more for my buck. I'd love if there was more content tackling today's social issues and politics. That would be perfect....then again I may be one of a few who is paying attention.

NiaNeek

Pride: The Progression and Pitfalls

Today I had a appointment with a new doctor at an old familiar place. She was wonderful and for purpose of this entry we'll refer to her as Dr. S.
In a matter of minutes Dr. S had me talking and I was excited about being a new patient. During the Q&A segment of the visit, my card was pulled. Half the questions she asked I could not answer with assurance. Everything was a half ass answer.
Dr. S.: what type is this?
Me: Ugh...
Dr. S: How have you been getting what you need?
Me: Um, well...
After about 10 minutes of her patiently and humorously advising me of my homework for my next visit, she suggested I broaden my perspective on my disability, network and share my story.
I thought, "my story"? Dr S must have seen the confusing look on my face and then said, "your pride was the best and worse thing that happened to you, you've missed out on a lot of opportunities trying to get back to 'normal'".
Truth be told, hind sight is 20/20 and if I could do it again, I think my life would have been a little different, (even with all the lows I had).
I've been really lucky to have had a mom who supported and respected me, tell me numerous times I was intelligent and beautiful everyday, and I believed her. I knew some kids with fucked up parents, so her admiration wasn't ever taken for granted. I don't think I would give off the same 'energy' if I wasn't blessed to have her as a mom. The fact remains though, I cared what my friends thought. I wanted their approval. It would drive my mom nuts! She didn't raise my brother and I to be followers. I'm so happy to say now everything she said and taught me was true however at that time, I still longed for my friends approval.
When I was 13, in the hospital and after several treatments to save my right leg, the doctors suggested that it be amputated. I remember crying for two reasons, 1) I was a dancer: yeah I was a big kid who was light on her feet, but the reason I balled was because I loved my feet! My mom loved my feet, my dance instructors loved my feet too! I was devastated. Once the superficiality of the situation subsided, there was no issue with understanding what I was facing. It had to be done. This car accident was no fucking joke. It already took the life of my maternal grandma whom I loved so very dearly, therefore I was aware of what I was dealing with. 2)With my friends being back home, I didn't know if they were gonna shun me, act flaky or just banish me from 'the clique'. I didn't even tell them about my amputation until I got back home. I was on my annual Summer vacation along with my brother and cousin but the Summer of 1992 changed everything. I was suppose to start high school that year- that was delayed for an entire year(I had to relearn how to walk), which led to another insecurity; How would I explain I wasn't "left back" without telling "my business"? I laugh at the thought now but in my 13 year old mind, this was some serious shit!
Fortunately all of my worse fears were just pride and insecurity rearing its ugly head. My friends then are still my friends now! They're awesome! I have so many good people in my life-friends and family and I'm so grateful for them all!
My biggest regret was trying to be 'normal' which is how I wanted to be perceived. I didn't give my old friends or new friends the benefit of the doubt and for that I suffered socially. Being a social butterfly is very difficult if you're not willing to share a significant part of who you are. I'm proud of myself for finally getting it. FINALLY!
I am able to do more than 13 year old me could ever imagine but, the 30 something year old me wishes I could go back and shake the shit out of 13 year old me. Most teenagers don't know what the fuck is up. I know I was clueless. I wish I used the resources available to me when I was a kid instead of being trying to get my old life back. I should have been trying to be extraordinary because there is nothing ordinary about me (or you). Everybody got their thing that makes them special in this world and if its positive, you need to spread love and positivity.
So I left Dr. S office feeling great and inspired. So much so, I've decided to make this my first blog ever! Its my attempt to give you insight on what makes me tick. I hope you've enjoyed it. More to come cause lawd knows I got a opinion about everything...Peace